Tuesday, October 02, 2007;
♥ 10/02/2007 06:32:00 AM
Ive got to move on and be who i am>>
Afterall, no point dwelling in the past or this irritating confusion.
Alrighty, 4 papers down, 2 more to go.Im sorry, i cant pretend that my revision's going on fine. I cant pretend that i can understand everyshitthing on my notes. I cant pretend that im not giving up. When practically everything is going against you, and that everything you see/hear/feel is telling you to just give up, you'll seriously feel the urge to just give in, and up. Everyone around's telling me be positive. Everyone, including my friends in poly and other jcs. Everyone, including my neighbour. Everyone, including my cousins (who ALWAYS ALWAYS call me stupid, ever since the day i was born. Hmpf). But seriously, be truthful. How positive can one get when youre facing this crossroads, and i dunno. Your results totally stinks, and you need to get 55% to pass overall. Okay, might not seems a big thing, but hello? When youre talking bout 'Me and My Results', its a BIGBIG thing okay. ):
Im listening, not to my friends, but to that inner voice within me. It's telling me to give up on studying, which i think half of me already is.
And it's telling me to give up on another thing. So, i'll be drawing the line, and keeping the distance. =l
Okay, vincent's being silly online.Our convo:
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
oh, so you got break til fri?
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
JIAYOU!
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
no
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
huh?
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
den?
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
hmmm
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
mon
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
no
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
tue
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
thur
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
fri
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
die die die
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
wo zou le
[Víñ©ê\ŧ] says:
zai jian
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
huh?
-And then, he went offline. Ha, silly friend.
I miss fairfield. ): Im in the 'i-miss-those-days-in-good-ol'-fairfield' kind of mood again.Mm, this isnt exactly sudden. Okay, lets put it this way. This feeling has been inside of me, ever since our batch stepped out of the church, the thanksgiving service in yr 2006. This feeling is woahsuperly strong at the beginning of the year. So you hear me whining and complaining, everywhere i go.But i haven exactly been openly declaring my miss for fairfield, until recently. That's not because i stopped missing fairfield, okay. Its because, there're many other things thats happening in my life. So many other things, that are so suffocating that i cant exactly pull myself away from reality, and drown in myself in my fanasty world. Let's put it simply, sometimes, it's hard to find time to break free from the things that i have at hand, to just come and sit down by myelf, and think of things.Or another reason, thats called 'self-deceive'. Im trying hard to get adapted to the current environment, school, friends, people, etc. Im really struggling with it everyday. But its tough, really. Waking up every morning, walking to the busstop, walking past living creatures wearing the yellow-blue uniform with tie, walking past the school where most memories are created and where most friendships are forged. Yeah, many might say, just treat it as memories la! But i cant, seriously.If only we can be yellow and blue once again. Wearing that tie, and pulling up the FMSS socks. Mingling aound in school, laughing and chitchatting everywhere along the corridors. The school, where good/close friends can be found nearly everywhere along the corridors. The friends, who helped us survive thru the big Os and stress. And the soulmates, who shared the burden and troubles with us.Yeah, if only we can be yellow and blue once again. If only.
i struggledto lay my memories asleep;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
